The 4 Elements in the Art of Self-Love
Self-love has become a concept like happiness.
We all want it, we often talk about it. But most of us don’t understand what it is and how to truly have it. Those are the questions that I want to help you answer.
There are four elements that are fundamental to our being.
The first is our body.
The second is our mind - our thoughts.
The third is our heart – our emotions.
And the last is our soul - our spirit, the place that yearns to be a part of something bigger, the place that has those deeper callings.
Self-love is loving these four elements in the right way.
Self-love is loving your body, mind, heart, and soul in the right way.
1ST ELEMENT: Loving your body
How can you nurture your body and give it what it needs? Instead of forcing your body to follow a regime that you think it needs, or an image you think it needs to look like.
2ND ELEMENT: Loving your mind
How do you help your mind to let go of destructive thoughts? The ones that say: “I’m stupid. I’m ugly. I don’t deserve to be here.”
Your mind was formed during the time when you were 0 to 5 years old. It couldn’t discern information so it received everything it saw, heard, experienced in your childhood. Many of the limiting thoughts you have about you, about others, and the world were never chosen by you.
3RD ELEMENT: Loving your heart
What is the pain that you need to heal? Emotional pains are experiences that broke your heart which you haven’t fully released.
It might be the death of a loved one, an experience of being abandoned or a childhood trauma. Whatever it is, if your heart is bleeding, how can it open to unconditionally give and receive love? How can it be resilient in the face of difficulty?
4TH ELEMENT: Loving your soul
How can you live from the place of the soul instead of the ego? How do you honour your soul’s sacred calling to shine, to matter, to make a difference, to express, to evolve?
When I teach self-love to my workshop students and coaching clients, I often help them love their body first. Why?
The body is the most tangible thing we identify with.
Especially for women, our body has been so objectified by the media. We compare ourselves with the models in the magazine, whose bodies are always Photoshop production.
I remember when I grew up, my mom told me to take care of my body in order to find a good husband. Slowly, I learned to use my body as a commodity to trade for affection and attention.
So it's difficult for us to accept our body as it is. But that’s where we need to begin.
Accept your body, now. Exactly as it is in this very moment.
Our body is so incredible.
Look at your body. Look at your hands and legs. Look beneath them to the vein and the blood and the vessels.
The trillions of cells that constantly working for you, fighting bacterias and diseases that you don’t even know exist. Your heart, the first organ that started to function when you were still in your mother’s womb, constantly beats for you.
If you start living inside your body and feeling your body deeply, you will open yourself up to an elevated sense of energy and pleasure.
Our body is also the source of our intuition. This is why we say “trust your gut” instead of trust your head.
The body speaks to you through sensations, sending accurate signals to steer you towards your True North.
Real self-care is not about a diet or the next workout. It’s about giving your body what it needs at each moment.
Here are the four steps to body-loving.
STEP 1: feel the body
Can you be aware of different sensations of your body right now from the toes to the head, from outside to inside?
STEP 2: see your body differentlY
The way you see your body would define the way you show up for your body.
If you see your body as a tool to take your head around, how would you treat it? If you see your body as a hideous creature that you're stuck in, how would you treat it?
If you see your body as a gift that you get when you were born on Earth, it doesn't belong to you, you use it only until you die and you’d give it back.
That's the gift from life force to you. That is the place where you live, where it gives you energy and pleasure to live an incredible life. How would you then show up for it?
STEP 4: talk to your body
If you ask your body, it will give you an answer. If you have back pain and you ask: “OK, honey, what's wrong? What do you need right now?”.
If you be friends with your body, that wild animal talks back. It will tell you what exactly it needs.
step 4:care for your body
How do you know what it needs? If you haven't ever talked to it you might think that it needs this but what if it doesn't?
You might think that you need to run four km in the morning while you would just need rest and sleep. That's what we put ourselves into when we're not in contact with the source of real wisdom.
If you love someone very much, you would you ask: “Hey sweetheart. What do you need?” Or you’d go “You need to study math. You need to ace this test. Blah blah blah”.
Real self-care is not about a diet or the next workout. It’s about giving your body what it needs at each moment.
If you feel your body, see it differently and begin to talk to it and give real care for it, your body would give you the energy, creativity and the intuitive direction you need to move towards your best destiny.
Remember: you are a beautiful miracle and you can truly shine your light.
Milena xo
P.S: SELF LOVE AND FINDING PURPOSE
Now that you’ve started exploring self love, don’t stop here.
From my experience, as you reclaimed your self-worth, you’ll begin to hear a calling to make a difference. Like Robin Sharma said: “There is no extra people on the planet,” you were born with a purpose.
I’ve made a gorgeous 15-page Purpose Finder Workbook to help you discover your unique purpose and start making impact doing what you love. Download below!
SHARING = LOVING
Break free from envy and comparison madness