The Highly Sensitive Coach's Guide to Thriving (Not Just Surviving) In Business

Click here for the audio and video version - read by the author herself.

I was always “too much.”

"Stop crying." - My father’s voice, sharp as a blade.

"You’re too sensitive. The world will eat you alive."

I was five, clutching a broken toy. Tears slid down my cheeks. He looked at me like I was something fragile—something doomed.

"If you keep this up, you’ll end up in a mental hospital."

I swallowed my sobs. Believed him.

And that’s the moment I started trying to become someone else.

For years, I fought against my own nature. I swallowed the lump in my throat, forced myself to toughen up, pretended I didn’t care when I did—when I always did.

I believed there was something wrong with me. That feeling this much made me broken.

It wasn’t until 2015, when I stumbled upon Dr. Elaine Aron’s book The Highly Sensitive Person, that I finally understood:

I wasn’t broken. I was highly sensitive.

According to Dr. Aron’s research:

15%-20% of the population are highly sensitive people (HSPs).
HSP is an innate form of neurodivergence - our brains are wired differently from birth.
HSPs process information deeply, absorbing nuances and subtleties others often miss.
But this also means we’re more easily overstimulated and overwhelmed.
If we grew up in an environment that didn’t value sensitivity, we likely struggle with low self-esteem, having been told our whole lives: “Don’t be so emotional. Toughen up. Stop overthinking.”

Reading this, I felt seen.

Watch the video version

Listen to the audio version

For the first time, I realized my sensitivity wasn’t a flaw - it was a trait. A normal, natural way of existing in the world.

But that didn’t mean I knew how to embrace it.

When I started my coaching business, I still saw my high sensitivity as a weakness.

I believed that to succeed, I needed to toughen up. Build a thicker skin. Operate like the non-HSP entrepreneurs who seemed unfazed by life.

So I pushed myself. Ignored my body’s warnings. Forced myself into high-energy marketing strategies that drained me.

Until I burned out.

And that’s when I learned the truth:

High sensitivity isn’t my downfall.

It’s my greatest gift.

Especially as a coach.

But like any gift, it must be cultivated and honored. Otherwise, it will break you before you can harness its power.

So if you’re an HSP coach wondering, Can I actually thrive in business? Or am I doomed to be overwhelmed and burnt out?

The answer is: Yes, you can thrive.

But you must do business differently.

Here’s how.

1.

Most mainstream business and marketing approaches weren't designed for someone like you.

You know that sinking feeling? You’re watching a business coach on Instagram, grinning as they promise:

"Just go LIVE daily! Just DM 50 people! Just put yourself out there!"

Your chest tightens. Your brain says: I should do this. But your body says: No.

That feeling? Listen to it.

Most mainstream business and marketing strategies were designed by straight white men - who are likely not HSP. (Plus, if you inhabit a woman’s body, they also have four times more testosterone than you, meaning their bodies are literally built to handle four times more stress.)

These strategies get passed down, adapted, and popularized by “thought-leaders” and celebrity entrepreneurs - most of whom also aren’t HSP.

And you?

You’re part of the 15%. Which means, at least 4 out of 5 times, the strategies that work for the majority won’t work for you - at least not in their original form.

(And by “work for you,” I don’t just mean creating results. I mean creating sustainable results without compromising your well-being or traumatizing your nervous system.)

So what do you do?

Use your HSP spider-sense to discern when a business approach feels “icky” or misaligned. Dare to unsubscribe from that high-energy business coach who stresses you out. Radically tweak marketing methods to fit your rhythm.

Posting twice a day feels overwhelming? Start with twice a week.
The thought of TikTok makes you shudder? Write in-depth, long-form articles instead.
The idea of enrolling 10 clients shuts you down? Open 3 slots - or even just 1.

Honoring your energy capacity isn’t just self-care - it’s business survival.

2.

Your most crucial survival skill is to minimize overstimulation.

Your brain is like a sponge that never stops absorbing. The flicker of a fluorescent light. The sharp scent of someone’s cologne. The subtle shift in a client’s tone.

It all rushes in, all at once, like an unfiltered tidal wave.

And before you know it, you’re drowning.

To prevent this, design your lifestyle with intentionality:

I’ve been caffeine-free for two years because it wrecks my adrenal glands.
I ask for outdoor seating at restaurants to avoid noise fatigue.
My Mondays are for spa time, self-reflection, and slow team meetings so I don’t get thrown into chaos at the start of the week.

But life isn’t perfect. Overstimulation will happen.

That’s why learning how to down-regulate your nervous system is just as important as preventing overload in the first place.

3.

You need generous chunks of "Me time" baked into your calendar.

There was a time when I wore exhaustion like a second skin. The kind of tiredness that seeps into your bones, where even beautiful things - like my daughter’s laughter - felt like too much.

Now, I unapologetically build spaciousness into my calendar:

90 minutes every morning for my Nourishment Ritual. Some days it’s movement. Some days it’s lying on my yoga mat, staring at the sky.
A two-hour midday break for lunch and a nap.
A full ‘Milena Day’ every Saturday to do whatever my soul craves - art class, Zumba, galleries, cinema.
A solo retreat every month to unplug and reconnect with nature.

At first, I thought: This is ridiculous. There’s no way I have time for this.

Then my body broke down. Chronic fatigue forced me to stop.

Now I know:

Rest isn’t a luxury. It’s oxygen.

4.

Advocate for your needs even when no one understands.

I’m in the bathtub, warm water lapping at my skin. I exhale.

But then:

"How dare you?"

A voice, cold as ice:

"Other mothers are cooking salmon on a bed of quinoa for their child. Other mothers are decluttering their sock cabinets. Other mothers are hustling. And you? Lying here, indulging."

I squeeze my eyes shut.

But I know this voice isn’t mine.

It’s the echo of millennia of social oppression, passed down through generations of women who were taught to sacrifice themselves - to be good daughters, good wives, good mothers, good girls.

But this ends with me.

I hope it ends with you too.

Here’s the thing: Non-HSPs around you find it difficult to understand why you need so much downtime and space. Dare to give yourself what you need even when - especially when - others don’t get it.

I've carefully curated an inner circle of loved ones who support my needs even when they don't fully understand. I've also relentlessly advocated for myself by being honest about my struggles, setting firm boundaries, asking for what I need, and finding the resources to meet them.

It’s not always comfortable. But it’s life-sustaining.

5.

don't bypass your difficult emotions (though you'll feel tempted to.)

There’s a moment every month - usually in my luteal phase - when emotions flood me.

Irritation. Rage. Ambiguity. Anxiety. Stuckness. Sadness.

A tangled knot of too much.

And modern life? It offers endless ways to numb - a Netflix binge, a scroll hole, an extra shot of espresso.

Even mainstream spirituality tempts us to bypass - with “high-vibes only” mantras and toxic positivity.

But here’s what I’ve learned:

You can suppress your emotions for a while. But they will return, louder than before.

The key isn’t to escape them. It’s to hold space for them.

Learn to hold space for these difficult emotions. Be a compassionate witness. Observe them with an intention to connect, not to fix or change or even "heal."

Because beneath the discomfort, these emotions are messengers - revealing unmet needs, unlived desires, or things you must let go of (a toxic relationship, an old identity, an unsustainable way of working).

Our minds are so rigged with fear-based ego, self-grandiosity, and social conditioning,

That's why difficult emotions are much more accurate signposts to your true destiny than thoughts, goals, or even “vision”.

It does take time, though, to build your capacity to hold space for and properly connect with difficult emotions. So getting support from a skilled coach can make a big difference.

As you experience the way your coach holds space for you, you'll naturally build your own muscles to support yourself the same way.

*Let go of everything and see what's left: You. Your pure desires. Your authentic needs. Your true gifts.*

6.

honor your inner rhythm, season of life, and nervous system capacity.

Even though this is good advice for everyone, HSPs must take it more seriously than others.

Because when there’s misalignment, we don’t just feel it - we feel it hard.

Our bodies aren’t built to tolerate stress and overwork. They will scream for help through:

Skin breakouts
Clenched jaws
Kidney infections
Chronic fatigue
Autoimmune conditions

In short: For HSPs, abandoning yourself is deadly.

On the other hand?

Coming home to yourself is life-giving.

Where in your business and life are you abandoning yourself?
How would building a business as an act of homecoming look for you?

Dare to slow down.
Dare to do less.
Dare to start small so your nervous system has time to adjust and expand.

If charging $2,000 for a coaching package makes you freeze, start with a "bridge rate" of $1,000.
If quitting your job tomorrow terrifies you, plan for a "bridge job" instead.

Make space for transitions. Your nervous system needs them.

7.

Toxic corporate culture is lethal for you.

Trying to survive in toxic corporate culture as an HSP is like drinking slow poison - eight hours a day, five days a week.

Of course, I’m not saying you should quit tomorrow with no plan.

But I am saying this:

You need to get serious about planning your exit.

This is where "bridge jobs" come in.

Can you move to a part-time role in a department that aligns more with coaching (like training or HR)?
Can you freelance using your corporate skills, so you have more time freedom?
Can you find an aligned company (like a coaching brand or personal development business) to work with?

You may need to simplify your lifestyle.
You may need to downsize your expenses.

But the space you gain? The peace?

It will be worth it.

8.

If you're a parent, be willing to parent differently.

When I was pregnant with Elisa, beneath my excitement was a constant sense of doom.

"How do I take care of another human being's needs when I can barely take care of my own??"

Now, more than four years in, I’ve learned the truth:

I can’t.

Not alone.

As an HSP, “It takes a village to raise a child” takes on a whole new level of truth.

For some moms, “the village” means half-day daycare for their three kids.

For me, I’ve given myself full permission to be radically supported:

A full-time nanny and housekeeper
Preschool
Grandma living with us
A partner who pulls his full weight (far beyond society’s low expectations for fathers)

I also decided to have only one child.

And if anyone dares ask me, “Why not have two? Won’t she be lonely?”

They can get the hell away from me.

I'm here to give you permission to LET GO. To NOT have the house perfectly tidied, or your child perfectly breastfed, or family meals perfectly cooked or you being the perfectly present mother.

Let go of what society taught you about how a "good mother" or a "good woman" (or, really, ever since you were little, a "good girl") is supposed to behave. Misbehave.

Let go of everything. And see what’s left: You.

Your pure desires.
Your authentic needs.
Your true gifts.

They matter.

Honor them.

And watch your high sensitivity make you into the healing light your community - and our world - so sorely needs.

And now a gift to you, it’s one of my favorite poems by Mary Oliver called “Wild Geese” which celebrates the homecoming of you and your sensitive soul.

Wild Geese
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting–
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

xo Milena

P.S. START HONORING YOUR NEEDS NOW.

As I’ve shared in the article, it’s really important for HSPs to curate their inner circle of like-minded souls. That’s why my flagship program for coaches called Impact Coaching Circle™ is the right place for you.

If you want to kickstart your dream coaching business with ease, and meet and connect with other soul-centered coaches worldwide that honor you and your needs, this is the ultimate benefit that you wouldn’t want to miss.

Impact Coaching Circle™ is not yet open, but you can join our waitlist here to be one of the first to know when it’s open.

sharing is caring

Hey, fellow purpose-driven human!

I’m Milena. When I was 24, I said no to corporate job offers to “do my own thing.”

9 years, some major fumbles, 3 TEDx Talks, 1 published book, 50,000 followers, and hundreds of clients (from 15+ countries) later…

I make a multi-six-figure living as a coach while spending most of my time walking barefoot in my apartment. #introvertgoal

I know you want to make a difference.

I’m here to help you turn that calling into a financially sustainable coaching business — while staying away from the hustle, and skipping the pitfalls that trip up most new coaches.

Quit your 9-to-5. Move to a paradise island. Slow yoga every morning. Work from sunlit cafes. Make time for loved ones (including yourself). Grow your influence. Wake up excited about your day. And serve only the clients who light you up…

All of that (and more!) is possible, once you have the right support.

Let me help you shine.

that's not enough, tell me more!