7 Unexpected Things I Learned in 7 Years of Growing a Coaching Business
I remember secretly crying in my honeymoon suite.
I was 26 and just married.
But my tears didn’t have anything to do with my marriage.
I was stricken with grief over the shutdown of my first business…
- a yoga and meditation studio in Hanoi - one I love, one I built with my own hands, one to which I dedicated 2 years of passionate, tireless work, and one I could no longer sustain financially.
No one planned for my wedding, and the studio shutdown to occur at the same time. But that somehow happened. It was also decided, that I would relocate from Vietnam to Singapore right after the honeymoon.
Leaving behind the studio - my 1st business failure - felt cowardly convenient.
All at once, I was grappling with 3 major transitions: relationship, location, and most importantly, work - because work, or more accurately, having a purpose, had always been essential to me as a person.
So I got on a plane to Bali for my honeymoon and flew straight into a dark tunnel. Underneath the happy surface was a deep current of sadness, anxiety, and self-disappointment.
That’s where I was emotionally when I started my coaching business.
Yup.
In the mucky stew of sadness, anxiety, and self-disappointment, plus the visceral fear of failing again.
People said I was brave for starting another business. I did not feel brave.
When you have a life of working much less and earning much more - a life so different from the norm - you might feel as though you’re doing something slightly illegal. Like one day police might come knocking on your doors and take everything away: “You got too good of a deal!”
All I knew was working for a corporation would be the equivalent of sentencing my soul to die.
I didn’t like dying.
So, the only option left was to give myself another chance at doing my own thing, even as my legs were trembling.
I owe everything to that not-a-choice choice my past self made 7 years ago.
(Past Milena, thank you, thank you, thank you…)
Last month, December 2023, marked the 7th anniversary of my coaching business.
I knew I’d learn a lot on this journey, but here are the 7 lessons I didn’t expect:
1.
Entrepreneurship is THE portal for self-transformation.
I came to entrepreneurship for the freedom; I stayed for the transformation. Not all types of entrepreneurship catalyze personal growth, but soul-inspired entrepreneurship does that more potently than anything I know.
Soul-inspired entrepreneurship: the journey of finding creative solutions to meaningful problems and making them sustainable by earning a viable income while courageously honoring one’s unique gifts, needs, and desires.
Stuff comes up when you grow your coaching business. Heavy, dark, sticky stuff.
Like money wounds, visibility traumas, how you attach your self-worth to your achievement, and intergenerational patterns of overworking… - all come to the surface, manifesting themselves as resistance, procrastination, and blockages. And you must transform them to take the next step on your path.
What a great curriculum for spiritual growth!
Besides, as someone who has righteous anger toward the traditional way of doing business where decisions are driven by greed, ego, and fear; pursuing soul-inspired entrepreneurship feels like leading a revolution.
I’m all here for it. And I think you should join me.
2.
You don’t need to suffer to earn happy money.
I knew this one in theory due to the rampant New Age authors and manifestation coaches.
However, coming from a family of hardworking, suffer-loving Vietnamese people, my body actively rejected this notion.
But after years of stubbornly reducing my working hours while increasing my rate and countless other experiments… Holy shit, this one is true.
(This morning I arrived at my work studio at 10:30. And took a nap until 11:30 because my body needed a nap. This has been going on for more than a week.)
To be honest, part of me is still surprised that it’s true.
When you have a life of working much less and earning much more - a life so different from the norm - you might feel as though you’re doing something slightly illegal. Like one day police might come knocking on your doors and take everything away: “You got too good of a deal!”
Years later, I’ve left this anxiety behind and boldly claim my good life.
As Dr. Valerie Rein said in her book Patriarchy Stress Disorder, I’ve shifted my existential question from “How much can I bear?” to “How good can it get?”
Can you start asking yourself the same?
3.
Business is seasonal and cyclical - not linear.
The toxic masculine model of reality teaches us that business is linear. It glorifies showing up with the same intensity every day, having more clients every quarter, and earning more every year.
While the divine feminine understands that business is cyclical and seasonal.
When you’re in your menstruation, it’s unkind to demand yourself to deliver a workshop the same way as when you’re ovulating.
If you just had your second child a few months ago, it might be wiser to reduce the amount of clients from 7 to 3. So you have the space to recover.
Honoring our seasonal and cyclical nature is the key to consistency and resilience that no one talks about.
Look at the moon; she goes through 4 phases every month. She is never the same from one night to the next. Yet, we need never question her consistency.
Growing a profitable, peaceful, AND pleasurable business is a somatic process in which you honor what your body tells you.
4.
There can be no resilience without a community.
I’m always moved by the wisdom of nature. And in 2023, I’ve grown increasingly fascinated by regenerative agriculture.
Unlike traditional agriculture, regenerative agriculture focuses on improving the health of the ecosystem through sustainable farming methods. Resulting in improvements in the quantity and quality of crops - and basically not f*ing up our planet or harming future generations.
What fascinates me most is how regenerative agriculture makes farming resilient - able to withstand shocks, like extreme weather, pests, or market fluctuations, and continue to function effectively.
But what’s the most crucial element to creating this level of resilience?
Biodiversity.
In short, there can be no resilience without a community.
Self-care is overrated. It’s Community-Care that makes the biggest difference.
Statistics show that 50% to 70% of businesses don’t make it past their first 3 years.
I believe that the number is even grimmer in the coaching industry, considering the huge number of coaches trained every year and the very small number of coaches who actually launch their business, let alone earn a sustainable living.
And if you ask me, “How far do you think I can go with coaching?,” I’d ask back: “What support do you have?”
5.
Growing a profitable, peaceful and pleasurable business is a somatic process.
You can have the “best business strategy.” But if it doesn’t feel right in your body, you need to take a pause.
Explore this not-right feeling in your body.
Is it your intuition saying a clear No? or…
Is there a limiting story or thought going on behind this feeling? Or…
Is a part of you resisting because it’s desperately trying to protect you from failure or success?
Depending on what you discover, find the courage to say no to that strategy, or challenge the limiting thought, or support the part of you that’s resisting.
So often, business building is seen solely as a brain game in which the body is to be bypassed. And that’s how end up with legions of “successful entrepreneurs” who are miserable in their private lives.
My business has been in its scaling stage over the last 2 years. And I remember a period of, despite doing everything right on the outside, every month during my luteal phase, just thinking about my business makes me want to cry, and not in a good way.
(Fascinating fact: During the luteal phase in your menstruation cycle, aka the week right before you bleed, your difficult emotions may come forcefully to the surface to reveal things you need to let go or change. You’re not “hormonal.” You’re simply more sensitive to what no longer works in your business or life.)
Growing a profitable, peaceful, AND pleasurable business is a somatic process in which you honor what your body tells you.
6.
You must claim your own version of success.
Mainstream business coaching and celebrity entrepreneurs often promote a dangerously 1-dimensional version of success: have more followers, enroll more clients, make more money… grow bigger, faster, more… reach your 5K month, then a 6-figure year, then make your millions…
They make you want that version of success and then sell you a cookie-cutter system without considering the unique way you’re wired, your current capacity, and your season of life.
Not to mention, deep down, you may want something completely different.
Maybe you’re in a season of slowing down. And success for you this year is to earn a steady $2,000 a month while working 2 days a week. So you can recover from chronic fatigue and breastfeed your first child.
Or maybe you’re in a creative season where you yearn to channel your creative juice outside your coaching business. You’re content with earning a humble $1,500 monthly. So you can spend most of your time painting and writing your first book.
Or you own your desire for a much bigger impact this year. You’re committed to making space and getting support to 5x your revenue without sacrificing your well-being and relationships.
Your version of success is unique to you and will shift in each season of your life.
Acknowledge it and claim it boldly, even if, and especially if, it’s different from the norm.
That’s how you grow a business that is rooted in self-honoring instead of self-abandonment.
7.
Your business is much bigger than you.
Egos run rampant in the coaching industry.
Your “followers” and clients may put you on a pedestal and treat you as the “guru.” The number of “likes” on Instagram and Facebook can get into your head.
It’s dangerous when a coach gets drunk on her own power and starts thinking she knows everything.
Keep yourself down to earth, humble, and grounded. Remember that you’re imperfect, have your own bias, and can be wrong. Have a beginner’s mind so you can keep learning.
Lao Tzu said: “All streams flow to the sea because it is lower than they are. Humility gives it its power.”
You’ll serve your clients more powerfully if you place yourself lower than them.
This doesn’t mean being their doormat or allowing them to violate your boundaries. This means treating them as who they truly are: capable human beings with inner authority and unlimited potential.
Your clients are the heroes in their own stories, not you.
But this lesson #7 goes beyond the scope of a coach-coachee relationship.
When I started my coaching business 7 years ago, it was really much about me: my dream, my freedom, my expression. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
But I’ve come to realize that what fulfills me most about my business has little to do with me: my clients’ tears when they broke free from their inner prison and achieved something they didn’t think they could, my team’s laughter in our weekly meetings, the charitable donations my business gave away thanks to our healthy cashflow…
My favorite poet and philosopher David Whyte wrote:
“No matter the self-conceited importance of our labors, we are all compost for worlds we cannot yet imagine.”
Your business is your legacy, and it’s so much bigger than you.
Isn’t that beautiful?
I’ve come to realize that what fulfills me most about my business has little to do with me: my clients’ tears when they broke free from their inner prison and achieved something they didn’t think they could, my team’s laughter in our weekly meetings, the charitable donations my business gave away thanks to our healthy cashflow…
Alright, I can keep going until lesson #77, but I should probably stop here.
I hope these 7 lessons bring more flow, joy, and ease to your coaching business journey. I certainly wished someone had shared them with me 7 years ago.
And, if you want to learn more from me, join my special 7th-anniversary Masterclass where I’ll share about the 4 Pillars of a Consistent, Fully Booked Coaching Business without the Hustle.
This masterclass is $97. But you can claim your free ticket for a limited time.
(It’s very rare for me to offer free events. The last time I did that was 2 years ago!)
Click here to claim your free ticket before we’re sold out!
xo
Milena
PS: Already signed up for the Masterclass? Great job!
Don’t let this be another “free event you signed up for but never showed up for.” Check our confirmation email and add this masterclass to your calendar right now!
SHARING = LOVING
I help YOU get paid to change the world.
Hey, fellow purpose-driven human!
I’m Milena. When I was 24, I said no to corporate job offers to “do my own thing.”
9 years, some major fumbles, 3 TEDx Talks, 1 published book, 50,000 followers, and hundreds of clients (from 15+ countries) later…
I make a multi-six-figure living as a coach while spending most of my time walking barefoot in my apartment. #introvertgoal
I know you want to make a difference.
I’m here to help you turn that calling into a financially sustainable coaching business — while staying away from the hustle, and skipping the pitfalls that trip up most new coaches.
Quit your 9-to-5. Move to a paradise island. Slow yoga every morning. Work from sunlit cafes. Make time for loved ones (including yourself). Grow your influence. Wake up excited about your day. And serve only the clients who light you up…
All of that (and more!) is possible, once you have the right support.
Let me help you shine.
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